What do you think of the beginning of my novel?

Question by Vanilla Bear: What do you think of the beginning of my novel?
Please keep in mind that this is a very rough first draft!

“What the hell are you doing?” Zach exclaimed as he witnessed his brother downing a bottle of whiskey while mowing the lawn in nothing but his underwear. He got off his torn-up bicycle in a rush, trying to figure out why he was doing that to himself.

His brother turned around at the sound of his somewhat struggling with his bike. Chris was now exposing the front side of his body that he didn’t want to see. Zach shielded his eyes from the horrific sight and repeated, “What are you doing?” Chris began to walk closer, holding his arms out like he was a zombie about ready to eat his flesh, his eyes wide and a grin plastered on his face. Zach took one step back as he wrapped his arms around him.

“Hey, how’s my favorite little brother doing?” He slurred into Zach’s shoulder. He fake gagged at his brother’s half-naked hug and pushed him away with both hands. Chris nearly toppled over, but he grabbed on to his mail box instead. He embraced it as if it was one of his own children. Without warning, he began to pet it like it was glass, mumbling unidentifiable words into it. Zach knew he himself had gotten drunk off his ass before, but he never started to pet random objects…or at least he thought he never had.

He shoved his hands further into his jacket pockets, fumbling with the loose change. “Chris, are you sure you’re okay?” You had us worried when you stormed out of the restaurant earlier.” That evening was when the siblings went out for their weekly dinner, but when their sister brought up Chris’s financial situation, he took off and never came back. He and Abby spent the rest of that delightful evening trying to figure out what was wrong with their brother.

“Just dandy,” he responded with his signature goofy smile. Typical Chris, always acting like everything was fine in front of his siblings.

Zach shrugged nonchalantly. “I dunno, man. You’ve seemed pretty bummed out the past few weeks. Everything okay at home?” He motioned to the house in the background. Chris turned around for a quick glance and then was back facing him. He sighed, running his hand through his hair. “Come on. Open up. Isn’t this what brother’s are for?”

Chris scrubbed his hand over his face. “I’m…I’m just so sick of it, you know? Jen’s been driving me nuts ever since the new baby was born, Molly and Jacob keep complaining about how we never play with them anymore, and, on top of the crap sundae that is my life, I’m in dept and can’t afford to live in the house anymore!”

Zach wasn’t surprised by any of those facts. He knew Chris and Jen were having problems, but what couple didn’t? His niece and nephew already told him about how lonely they felt after Caleb was born. He was also aware of Chris’s financial problems because he had borrowed money from him. “Look, if you need to borrow money…,” he was cut off by his brother.

“No…no Zach. I don’t want any of your money!” He threw his hands up in the air.

Zach crossed his arms. “You’re in a real rough patch, Chris. Let me help you out.” He reached into his jean pocket and pulled out his wallet. Once he had it, he got out a few hundred dollar bills. “I know it’s not much, but it should at least pay for one or two of the bills.” He held it out for him to take. He thought Chris was extending his arm to take it, but that wouldn’t be like him. He did indeed take the money, but he proceeded to throw it up into the air. “Dude! What the hell was that for?”

“I’m sick of your charity. For once, I would just like to handle a problem on my own!” He explained as Zach knelt down to the ground to pick up the dollar bills. Zach knew it was hard for his brother to take the money, but he needed to do whatever he could to help his family out. Once he had gathered it back up, he held it out again.

“Just take the damn money. You know as well as I do that you really need it.” Chris took a step forward and he was certain that he was going to knock it out of his hand once more. But Chris hated to be predictable, so, of course, he did the unexpected. He threw his arm back and launched it straight into Zach’s nose. He tumbled backward and pushed his bike down, landing on top of it. Immediately, he could taste the blood and he put his hand up to his nose. That time, he didn’t even bother to say anything because his brother was heading inside his house. He was startled when the door was slammed shut and knew that every picture hanging on the walls shook. Zach leaned his head back, pinching his nose to stop the bleeding.

– What did you think of it? Would you continue reading on? What would you rate it on a scale of one to ten (one being the worst and ten being th

Best answer:

Answer by Christine
i like it..a 9!

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